I shared an office with a woman named Jennifer. She and I saw things differently on many subjects, but we had mutual respect and affection for one another, having shared an office and many work hours together for over 5 years. Jenny knew about my psychic tendencies, but being a Christian had many misgivings about dipping into the world of ghosts’ spirits and lost souls. Although we talked about it occasionally, we usually avoided all controversial subjects such as politics, religion and seeing dead people.
On a Tuesday in December that all changed.
I walked into our office that morning, expecting to see Jenny on the phone already, or munching on a donut from the snack machine. Instead I found her assistant rummaging over the top of her desk, shoveling through the “organizational system” Jenny used to plan her daily activities with her clients.
“Hi Beth, what’s going on?” I asked as I took off my coat and sipped from my morning diet Pepsi.
She turned to me, looking more harried than usual. “Mary sent me down here to find Jennifer’s schedule. She won’t be in for a while.”
“Is she sick?” I asked, knowing deep down it was more than that.
“No,” she replied, “ she had to drive to Minnesota, her mother had a bad car accident. They don’t think she is going to make it.”
Knowing what a close relationship Jen had with her Mom, I knew this was going to be bad. The next day we got the news that Jenny made it to the hospital only minutes too late to say goodbye.
A week went by, as Jennifer tied up loose ends in Minnesota, and we covered her sessions in Milwaukee. I thought of her a lot, and of her mother, who I had never met.
Jen returned to work the following Monday, we embraced, we cried, and I offer whatever weak solace I could. I wanted to do more for her, and I told her so.
That night, I was offered a chance. As I lay down to go to sleep, the room illuminated by a small night light behind a dresser, I began to do my protection meditations, and contact my spirit guides to thank them for their help, and to ask for further guidance in my quest to communicate. As my eyes drifted open and closed I suddenly felt a presence standing next to the bed.
My eyes opened wide and I saw the perfect black silhouette of a woman. She was about 5’6 medium build, and stood over me in silence.
I wondered who she was and received the answer that she was Jennifer’s mother, and she wanted me to pass along a message to Jen.
Knowing Jennifer’s feelings about me and my connection to the spirit world, I refused. I didn’t want to upset her, or open any fresh wounds with talk of visits from her mother. Although some people would have found it consoling, I thought that coming from me in this manner would only confuse and upset her.
The next night Jenny’s mother was back. Again, she stood at my bedside and made her request. Again I refused, asking her to go to her daughter directly, or through dreams to give her a sign or message.
Night after night I received the visitor. As nights passed, Jennifer’s mother became more insistent, and suddenly I found myself in the middle of what can only be described as a haunting.
Each night as I would lay down to sleep, she was there, standing over me, making me afraid to surrender to sleep, and potentially lose myself in the process. As I would begin to drift off I would see her more clearly. Suddenly I would be outside myself, and see my self and my surroundings in a spotlight. I could feel the energy in the air; I would feel chaos around me. Objects flying through the air, I would feel afraid, and out of control. I would have to shake myself to break the hallucination, but it would come back each time I tried to drift off to sleep. After about a week of this, I realized I had to appease this spirit and do what she asked. I had an opportunity later that night, as Jennifer and I would be at a work dinner together.
After the dinner Jen and I walked out to our parked cars together, discussing the evenings events. As we approached her truck I turned to her and began to broach the subject of her recent loss.
“Jen, can I talk to you about your Mom for a minute?” I said.
She looked down at the street, “ Sure.”
“Listen, you know about my “psychic tendencies,” and I have to tell you, I have been getting messages from your Mom for about a week now.”
She said nothing as I continued, “I haven’t wanted to say anything to you because I wasn’t sure how you would take it, and I didn’t want to upset you.”
“No, that’s okay, Diane, what have you got?”
I explained to her the events of the last week. I began with a description of the silhouette by my bed, with the persistence of the message, and lastly with the message from her Mother. “She just thought it was really important for you to know that she loves you, and that it didn’t matter that you didn’t make it to the hospital in time to say Goodbye. There are no good-byes Jenny, she wanted you to know that. She also wanted to let you know that she is around you still, and that you do feel her, and you should trust your own instincts there. Basically, she is okay, Jen. She is okay.”
Jenny looked at me, and laughed a little. “Diane, this is weird, but over the last week I have been praying and praying for my Mom to get in touch with me. I wanted to hear from her so much, and I was asking her to contact me somehow. She found you! You are right, I have felt her around me, but I think because I have been so upset, I haven’t seen her signs.” She continued, “My brother got a sign from her the other night. He was driving home at night, and was thinking about her. He, too, wanted a sign, and just as he thought that, he saw her face at his windshield! He couldn’t believe it! I really wanted a sign from her too… and now I have gotten it. Thank you.”
We embraced, and I felt an immediate calming around me. As if Jenny’s Mom was with us in the parking lot, and was finally at peace, having consoled her daughter. As I drove away from her that night, I realized that I had purposely avoided this conversation with Jenny. That perhaps I could have helped her sooner, but I had chosen not to. It was that night that I made the decision that in the future, if I received a message, I would pass it along. That I would be a communication device, if I could, and would try not to censor or control the messages that I received. It was then that I truly began my journey into mediumship and the paranormal.
Photo by artiefischer flickr.com
